Conscious Collisions

I Wonder (By 8 year old me)

I know birds fly

but do they ever cry?

I know dogs bark

but do they get a broken hearts?

I know lions roar

but do they think of

being rich or poar?

I know a whale is

the biggest fish

but does a whale ever wish?

My ultimate goa…

My ultimate goal with Redefining Realness is to stand firmly in my truth.

Janet Mock [Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More]

Happy Birthday to the greatest Great-grandmother I almost knew. She would’ve been 88 today. Rest in paradise Mona and thank you for allowing your spirit to guide me in a way that you weren’t able to in the flesh.


Found this written on a piece of paper I found folded in the back of my notebook.

It seems as Baldwin said, that as alone as one might feel, it is exactly that feeling of loneliness that connects us as people. In the act of writing and more importantly sharing those words, we create bridges between ourselves and our audience. A connection that creates space for reflection on the words being consumed and the perspective from which we consume them. What I know so far is that loneliness lives as long as you do not share yourself. Be it through a conversation or writing a piece. So share. Share because when you do, you might give someone listening or reading relief from their thoughts and feelings. Share because when you do, somebody or bodies may agree or disagree, but a conversation definitely will ensue. It is in that exchange of thoughts that we may be pushed to grow and hopefully learn something new about ourselves and others. 

Ma’s Essence [Fiction]

When Mami died, I kept her keys. All I ended up using to remember her were the 4 multi-sized keys from Morales Hardware and the Marymount Housing Authority. She had an ornate deer made out of beads from Guatemala on the biggest ring. It was a gift from her best friend, Roselín, who said she always seemed to move as gracefully and at times with shocking pause. It’s translucent brown beads looked like drips of honey on summer days. Next to the Dominican Deer was a little portrait of San Miguel that her grandmother had given her to protect her as she roamed the Earth. She never quite understood travel other than hoping to ride a wave back to 1967; perhaps a different choice could have been made or at least the screaming might have stopped in a different way. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. The silver plated key chain from her favorite cruise ship made the most noise on that big and slightly rusted key ring. Ma didn’t always enjoy having to put money away for those trips when it could be used for right now. For today’s bills. She was committed however, to seeing more of the world in comfort. When Ma passed away a few weeks ago, I kept her keys and gave my pair to Manuel to hold in case of an emergency. Al fin y al cabo, I got a few of her tools to unlock the door(s) she worked hard to own. I miss her, but she’s not gone.

Wise Words

Plato’s Allegory of The Cave presents a scenario where people once lived in a cave and all they knew was what they saw. They believed in the illusions that were presented to them instead of the outside world that would soon give them a sense of truth and reality. Those who were once led by ignorance were enlightened with knowledge that they couldn’t handle or had to deal with in a detrimental way. If the schools continue to focus only on academics and preparing for students for college, then the students will struggle when trying to find themselves, their passion, and their motivation to succeed. Also, the light that the schools shed on the students is not always the truth and knowledge that they need to get through life, but rather forms of lies and deceit. The students must find their own answers and develop their own skills with the support of the school system. Afterschool programs like [mine] will help students become the person they want to be, instead of the person their supposed to be or what schools tell them to be.

– A wise young man

Runaway by J. Cole (Excerpt)

Wise words from an indecent man
Made me reflect on the times when we was three-fifths of them
In chains and powerless, brave souls reduced to cowardice
Slaving in the baking sun for hours just
To see the master creep into the shack where your lady at
9 months later got a baby, that’s
Not quite what you expected, but you
Refuse to neglect it, cause you
Know your wifey loves you, does you refuse to accept it?
That’s that type shit that tell why my granny light-skinned
Rich white man rule the nation still
Only difference is we all slaves now, the chains still concealed
In our thoughts, if I follow my heart to save myself
Could I run away from 50 mill like Dave Chappelle?

what it could be

It’s a frustration that leaves me impatient in a world

In which many young people–my unsung heroes

aren’t historically prepared for their greatness

Because the latent images of success

Are allowing practices that don’t impress

Mess with the necessary development of a new system

The invention, not the recreation of an education

That provides youth with more truth

And even more space to be better then they’ve ever been

Din is the fire we must learn to light within

Each of these budding and deserving souls

Controls of this and that method showing our young people

My unsung heroes need more lessons on the inheritance of a culture

They entered this bitter world with

Synths and beats make melodies of a piece that has yet to exist

I insist, that we invent possibilities, not prevent them.

Current Change

Our love was the Rio Grande and it always seemed to flow towards the border — that invisible line filled with disorder. We tip-toed around that odd boundary till we stood on either side of it, sights of lit up smiles and silenced frowns were what made us patrol that unseen edge from spoken words of “I’m sorry”s and “you bruised me”s, but the truth be, that the line we most fear to cross is lost when we search blurry maps marked with messy syntax, cuz the facts are that working on love creates new roads that allow you to let go of old ones, old woes of what you lack and fear to be given back; our love was the Rio Grande and at some point it started to flow backwards.

B Train Motives & Thoughts

If luck is no such thing and fate is the determinant of the lives we lead, then life is one big adventure of moments that we may not anticipate, but must be able to learn from. Lessons are everywhere. All the time. Seek them not only in the confines of a classroom but in the interactions with Tiffany at the bodega and the MTA officer sitting in the booth at the 176th St. station. Your instructors take many forms and often the most important lessons will be taught by the youngest people around you. It seems people are born with a fearlessness that is too often unlearned as they begin to navigate through this crazy thang called life. Living is not a matter of accumulating goods and counting how many you are better than. Better than who? Rankings are too often used to measure success, when the true mark is the ability to dream with your eyes open. To imagine and create what is not there, because you know what better looks like and the world deserves more of it. Not more lists of who is  better than who. Who are you not to make the world a better place? In the way that when you enter a space you should leave it better than you found it, the same is true for this hurting home we call Earth. A planet of people searching for meaning and means to get through the ephemeral moment we call life. Take a breath. Breathe in the hurt and the love. You must know the former intimately to truly appreciate the latter. Generate love. Be your own reserve of the most powerful force ever known and never fully understood. Thousands of years of attempting to understand what it all means and though we’ve gotten closer, it is still a mystery.